"The Trauma We Carry"
June 28, 2025
“The Trauma We Carry”
The word "trauma" originates from the Greek word τραῦμα (traûma), which means “wound.”
What is trauma? It is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience that overwhelms an individual's ability to cope, causes feelings of helplessness, diminishes their sense of self, and disrupts their ability to feel a full range of emotions and experiences.
I have discovered, through serving thousands of people over more than three decades, a significant percentage of people carry some sort of trauma. The effects of this trauma, in many cases, lasts a lifetime unless it is faced and an attempt to “heal” it happens consistently.
YOUR BODY REMEMBERS THE TRAUMA WHEN YOU WERE IN YOUR BIRTH-MOTHER’S WOMB, VIA THE RELEASE OF THE HORMONE CORTISOL, AND AFTER YOU WERE BORN!
The trauma shows up as anxiety, anger, fear, self-doubt, loss of a loved one, neglect, violence, flashbacks, emotional numbness, hyper-vigilance (a state of excessive alertness and heightened- awareness of potential threats in one's environment) and other emotional responses.
It is subjective because what is traumatic for one person might not be for another. It can affect the brain’s wiring and impact thinking, behavior and relationships. Read that last sentence again: “It can affect the brain’s wiring and impact thinking, behavior and relationships.”
Dr. Gabor Mate writes: “Trauma is not what happens to you but what happens inside you. We think that children act, whereas what they mostly do is react. Parents who realize this acquire a powerful tool. By noticing their own responses to the child, rather than fixating on the child’s responses to them, they free up tremendous energy for growth.”
Many times those of us who experienced trauma interpret every-second-of-our-lives through the “eyes of the trauma” that we have experienced. This “frames-our-world,” in a distorted way, that stops us from living life in a beautiful way and impacts everyone around us….every-single-day.
As we make assumptions, about the people in our lives and/or on social media, we might consider why they are doing what they are doing without, really, having no idea of the details of their past. Maybe, just maybe, they have been carrying a level of trauma/pain that you and I cannot imagine.
YOUR BODY REMEMBERS THE TRAUMA WHEN YOU WERE IN YOUR BIRTH-MOTHER’S WOMB, VIA THE RELEASE OF THE HORMONE CORTISOL, AND AFTER YOU WERE BORN!
What if we discover that the source of our trauma was not intentional or the one who may have caused the trauma had also been experiencing a level of unhealed trauma? What happens next? Do we continue to live the rest of our days translating everything through the trauma (It is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience that overwhelms an individual's ability to cope, causes feelings of helplessness, diminishes their sense of self, and disrupts their ability to feel a full range of emotions and experiences) that many of us have been carrying?
Trauma can pass through us but, more times than not, it gets “stuck” inside us forever because it’s internal impact is substantial.
Most of us express ourselves by what we have experienced, observed and/or learned. What if we, purposely, create new experiences, new observations through intentional discovery and learned new information…on purpose?
Dr. Gabor Maté shares, “The opposite of trauma is not just healing…it’s connection.”
Many of us have allowed our trauma to “define” us. In other words, we “are our trauma.” Do you and I want to live the rest of our lives like that???
If you discover that you have had trauma you are not alone.
Author Michelle Rosenthal shares: “Trauma creates change you don’t choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose."
You and I can find a way through it…we can do it daily…for those we love.
I Believe in YOU!
John W. Carver, LUTCF
john@johnwcarver.com